Oh Yes I Did!

I choked someone wearing a Washington Nationals shirt today.

Before you say "Oh no you didn't," let me assure you, oh yes, I did.

As has been made quite clear in my previous posts, I hate the Nationals fans, and have frequently mentioned my desire to inflict violence upon them.

Today, I finally had my chance to do as much.

OK, fine, here's where the post gets less interesting. A guy from my jiu-jitsu class came in today wearing a Nats shirt under his kimono. I saw this during warmups, and knew that I had to do something about it. When it came time to spar, I called him out, and repeatedly choked and armlocked him.

After a while, I told him "Sorry, but I hate the Nats."

And he says, "Oh me too, I just borrowed the shirt from someone. I'm actually a Red Sox fan!"

That took a bit of wind out of my sails.

The NY Times Says "F--- A-Rod"

Well, not exactly. Is me saying "F--- A-Rod" after reading the NY Times close enough?

Here's the thing: A-Rod wins the MVP because, in his words, he was a great infielder and he had better offensive stats too.

Well, according to A-Rod's current hometown paper, the NY Times, David "I Love it When You Call Me Big Papi" Ortiz was way, way, more valuable. By, like, a factor of 3.

Ok, again, I'm reading between the lines, but here's a quote from the Old Gray Lady:

"The statistic known as "in late and close situations" is defined as at-bats in the seventh inning and beyond when the player's team is ahead by one run or is tied, or the potential tying run is at least on deck. In those situations, Ortiz hit .346 with 11 homers and 33 R.B.I.; Rodriguez was at .293 with 4 homers and 12 R.B.I. Ortiz also batted .352 with runners in scoring position, 62 points higher than Rodriguez."

Not to take anything away from A-Rod....Frankly, I may be in the minority here, but I believe that had the Sox worked out the Manny for A-Rod deal and then dealt Nomar for an similarly skilled outfielder, they would have still won the World Series and may not have needed to wait for the post-Nomar trade jolt to make their big run during the regular season. But I digress.

F--- A-Rod. F--- that karate-chopping, no good, cheating, bastahd.

I am the baddest sign writer alive...

I left our laundry basket in the laundry room of our building while my load was going in the dryer, and when I came back, it was gone.

I immediately left into action, wrote a sign demanding our laundry basket's safe return, and marched up there with my sign in one hand, and scotch tape in the other.

And what was waiting for me there? The basket. My sign was so effective that it did not even have to be posted to put a serious scare into the thugs who took the basket.

John Lee Hooker

I'm not sure there's any point in listening to albums other than Hooker N' Heat. In comparison, most don't matter.