Sunday, February 26, 2006

Awesome Things I've Seen this Weekend...

1) Faith Rewarded, the NESN DVD about the 2004 Sox. Maybe the best part was footage of Dewey Evans talking to one of the 04 Sox before Game One of the World Series, telling him to go have fun, then desperately imploring him to "win it." Also, any glimpse of Dave Roberts, particularly the big steal, is a treat. There's just something about seeing that guy that pumps me up as much as anything about the 04 team. That and any time I see Big Papi. I get the feeling that if he weren't single handedly carrying the Sox at times, Big Papi could probably solve just about any problem in the world. Plus, the footage of Kevin Millar, particulary his handshakes where he develops his own to compete with the elaborate ones used by Latino players, is really funny.

Only drawback: Is there anyway to get NESN to re-edit the thing to remove that bastard Johnny Damon? I know it's wrong to say this, but if Osama Bin Laden, that Zarkawi guy in Iraq, and Johnny Damon were in the room together, and I could only punch two of them in the groin, I would punch Damon twice. (The military and its $400 billion-plus annual budget really ought to have given the other two the proverbial punch in the groin by now. Big Papi would have taken care of this problem on Sept. 12, 2001).

Runner up: I was watching the heavy metal show on VH-1 Classics, and saw Queensryche's "Empire" video for the first time in at least a decade. It's amazing that a song can have an interlude with the phrases "Fiscal Years 1987-88," "by way of comparision," and other words that belong in the New York Times, and not lose momentum.

Only drawback: The windmachine. In all but the most extreme circumstances, windmachines should be reserved for the hot female models, not men. It's the kind of thing that Johnny Damon would use while doing his stupid naked pull-ups.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Russia to Iran: Stop with the Nukes, mmmkay?

Saw a news story today about Russia trying unsuccessfully to get Iran to quit building nuclear weapons today.

Yeah, I bet they tried REAL hard.
I can't imagine this communique being important enough to be a personal visit from Putin...he probably sent a text message or something.

Russia: Iran, quit building nukes, k?
Iran: Y?
Russia: U.S. hates it.
Iran: No!
Russia: kthnxby.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

LOL at Don Rumsfeld

Don Rumsfeld whined in a recent public speech that the U.S. military's PR machine somehow lags behind that of Al Qaeda, and blames this on Al Qaeda being capable of using modern technology.

According to a Reuters story posted on

The Pentagon chief said today's weapons of war included e-mail, Blackberries, instant messaging, digital cameras and Web logs, or blogs.

"Our enemies have skillfully adapted to fighting wars in today's media age, but ... our country has not adapted," Rumsfeld said.

"For the most part, the U.S. government still functions as a 'five and dime' store in an eBay world," Rumsfeld said, referring to old-fashioned U.S. retail stores and the online auction house respectively.


I don't know which is worse, Rumsfeld feeding people this line of bull or news services like Reuters eating it up.

It's kind of funny because I routinely exchange email with Pentagon spokespeople and get responses from their Blackberries. There have been stories written about the use of blogs by top Pentagon officials. How can Rumsfeld even begin to make these comparisons?

The Pentagon runs on an annual budget of more than $400 billion. I'm guessing that's a heck of a lot more than Al Qaeda. I'm also guessing the Pentagon has WAY more PR people than Al Qaeda, and pays them much better too (civilians in these positions typically make $50,000-$100,000+). These public affairs offices all have modern computers, their own websites, and plenty of resources.

If Rumsfeld thinks his public affairs people are all stupid (and in many cases he's right, trust me -- I deal with these people everyday), he should begin a massive purge and consider outsourcing most of this work to the private sector.

But the bigger picture is that he's making an excuse for why his war on terrorism is going so poorly and is only getting worse, given the new terrorist hot bed that he created in Iraq. We deserve better. Better excuses at least.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

AP Headline: "Senators: Cheney Should be Probed in Leak"

I'm guessing this was the work of Senators Beavis and Butthead. Huh huh, huh huh.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Is Being a Metrosexual Worse than Being Old?

After spending several minutes cursing the gym for not having facial moisturizer in the locker room, I spent even more time patting myself on the back for having a trial size in the car for emergencies.

In my own defense, my face and neck get irritated from the grappling at jiu-jitsu class, and it is a good idea to moisturize your face after every time you wash it, particularly during the winter.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Signs That I'm Getting Old...

3)Most web searches that bring people to this blog are for Whitney Houston or Donald Rumsfeld.
2)I left a concert at a club last weekend because it was too loud.
1)I think Tina Fey is not funny with all her toilet humor.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Why Can't Horatio Sans Keep a Straight Face?

I mean, seriously, it's a skill that the average kid in a high school play can pull off.