Johnny Damon -- Better Leadoff Man than Author

My dad has already basically informed me that I am a nerd for critiquing Johnny Damon's autobiography "Idiot: Beating 'The Curse' and Enjoying the Game of Life," so you don't have to. And yes, a key member of the team that FINALLY brought home the World Series title after so many decades of heartbreak should receive a lifetime "get of of jail free card." But I will share with you a few observations. For those who have not done so, I took this book out of the library so you don't have to...


According to Johnny:

-- The Boston press is really horrible. According to him, they never leave the players alone. He later states that Nomar had it so bad in Boston because they only bothered Nomar and left everybody else alone. See a contradiction? Yeah, me too. I also kind of wonder if his, and other people's as well, bashing of the press is really a veiled way of slamming the fans. But anyway....

-- The Red Sox were so popular in 2004 because of the whole "Idiots" persona thing. He doesn't address that it might have been, as I would contend, because people recognized that ownership had plugged the only remaining weaknesses in the off season by picking up a dominant starter (Curt Schilling, who they never ever should have traded in the first place back when he was a prospect and I said so at the time...) and a real closer (Keith Foulke).

-- Johnny Damon is a total stud. OK, this much is obvious, but he could be a little more humble and say, gentlemanly, by not going on about how he gets so many chicks calling him for one night stands, he needs a separate cell phone just for this function. And it's really "spooky" that a chick would have a one night thing with him, and think it meant more.

-- Johnny Damon is the best centerfielder around, and probably should have been MVP every year in recent memory. He's constantly throwing around quotes from teammates like Schilling who apparently shower him with verbal blow jobs like, AND I READ, "Dude, you don't know how amazing you really are....You're one of the best players I've ever watched." That's just one of many examples of the rave reviews he regularly receives from his teammates. However, when it comes to his high school career, he relies on himself to talk about how he was the best ever.

-- Pretty much everyone who has played on the team since he got here is above reproach. Pedro, according to Johnny, "Often doesn't get the respect he deserves." Never mind the fact that he was nearly universally regarded as the best Sox pitcher EVER amongst fans and the local media. Gee Johnny, do you think the fact that Pedro got some negative press last year was because his ERA went way up, and he mainly kept his win total up, like Derek Lowe (another guy who Damon felt the need to serve as an apologist for), because the Sox had awesome offense?

-- Kevin Millar was struggling at the plate because Doug Mientkiewicz was taking away his at bats. Never mind that he states this after earlier noting that Mientkiewicz, after starting a few games, basically served as a defensive replacement for Millar at the end of games.


To be fair, the book does present at times an interesting perspective on the past two seasons. However, I still maintain that the only Sox-related literature that you need from the 2004 season is the Sports Illustrated "Sportsmen of the Year" article, which was eons better than Damon's or Stephen King's books on the topic...