I Hate Slapstick Comedy...

at least when I'm the object of said comedy.

Over the course of two days, I have:

1) Taken a bottle of Tabasco from someone, not realized they had not tightened the cap, shook it up, and ended up with Tabasco all over my suit jacket, pants, and shirt. My Jerry Garcia tie, which probably would have hid the stain pretty well, was the only thing that escape unscathed.

2) Dropped a glass of single-malt scotch, and while the glass didn't break, and I was only misted by the fine liquor, it made a sound loud enough that it probably could have been heard if the space shuttle was taking off in the same room.

3) Walked directly into a hanging flower pot, which may have given me a concussion, but failed to take me off my feet. Score one for me!